That Isn't Why
by Carlie Moppie
Summary: Eiri Uesugi is a boy who had moved into America to get away from a horrible life in Japan, only to find it worse. This fic is about Yuki Eiri's past around the time when he got to America. Fifth chapter up: "That Isn't Why": The Explanation
1. Why me?

"That Isn't Why"  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravititation or any of its characters in anyway. I only own my writing and if I end up having a plot, I would own my plot too, but so far I haven't thought of one. Hope I will soon, because I want to continue this story. The scene near the end of the story is what I saw from the series of Yuki's memory of him and his sensei. Please don't sue me.  
  
Chapter 1: Why me?  
  
Eiri was in the dark. He couldn't see anything at all, he didn't know why he was hurt so badly. Something told him to wake up; he didn't hear anything he just felt he needed to. No matter how much he tried, it seemed the feeling that he needed to awaken built up. It kept getting stronger, and the way a chill tingled up and down his spine as a cold, clammy hand touched his cheek…  
  
"Eiri…" said a smooth voice. "Such a sweet, polite little boy…" The man continued to pet   
  
Eiri's head, "what a good boy…" Eiri's eyes shot up, he was so confused. As his blurry vision started to focus, he saw his a familiar figure and he realized it was his sensei.  
  
"Sensei." He let out a weak giggle, and then realized the compliments Yuki just gave him. That made him blush and look down trying to hide his face, "Sensei…"Yuki was a little confused for a moment.   
  
'Why is Eiri acting so strange, doesn't he realize…' Eiri was scared of the way his sensei smiled and laughed. Yuki's eyes narrowed as he turned to face Eiri. The boy's eyes had widened in shock.  
  
"S-sensei… Y-you're eyes… they're…" Eiri gasped. 'Those eyes, they're so evil, they can't be sensei's…' Eiri jumped back, it all started to come back to him.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
"Thanks for letting me stay later, so I can finish it." Eiri put up his writing materials then smiled and looked up at his sensei. Yuki just stood there and took another big gulp from his beer bottle and turned completely around so his back was facing Eiri.  
  
"Hm. Sensei, what's wrong?" Yuki turned around halfway.  
  
"Come on now, Eiri. Are you going to leave so soon? Why don't you stay a bit longer?"  
  
"Huh? Sensei, I would like to, but don't think I can stay any longer. Tohma will worry..." Eiri said, cupping his hands together and beaming at Yuki. Noticing how happy Eiri was, Yuki smiled slyly and turned around a little bit more. Obviously, you could tell that Yuki was drunk by the way his eyes were a little distorted. When Eiri saw this it made him worry a bit.  
  
"Forget about Tohma this time, I don't see why you should even think of him… especially when it's our time alone. I am disgusted by this, you know." Eiri was starting to get really scared, this was too much for him, and he hardly understood was his sensei was saying.  
  
"Sensei, I don't understand." Yuki turned to face Eiri and smiled slyly.  
  
"Don't tell me you don't understand. Aren't you attracted to me? I can tell by the way you look at me, and how you write your little stories. Filled with romance and happiness, just like the way your life is." Eiri started shaking at how Yuki knew about his attraction to him, but being as sensitive as he was, got hurt by how Yuki talked about his "little stories". Eiri did get a little mad over something Yuki said, even if it was his sensei.  
  
"H-how…" Eiri stopped talking for a second when he realized that he was about to admit his love to Yuki. He didn't want his sensei to know about that yet, so he quickly said something else on his mind. "How can you say that, sensei? What I really can't believe is that you think that my life is happy. Happy? I know sometimes I act like I am, and sometimes it's true, but I think you've forgotten why I moved here in the first place!" What Eiri said made Yuki smirk, but he did have an annoyed look on his face.  
  
"I believe you're not answering my question, but since you have to be a brat, I will tell you that I do remember why you came here!" Eiri looked hurt that his sensei was talking to him like that, but he still had enough courage to talk.  
  
"Oh really?" Eiri had tears in his eyes. "I was teased in Japan, and I got beaten up, really badly at times. Just because I looked American! It was so horrible; more than once kids have made me unconscious! It didn't matter that I was really Japanese, oh no, that just cared about how I looked. That's why I moved here, it may not seem that bad to you, but I really got hurt!" Yuki started chuckling, which made Eiri cry even more. "Why are you laughing!? Can't you see how sad I am, don't you even care!?"  
  
"Oh, I don't see how you do it." Yuki took a rest from laughing to choke out. "Here you seem like such a good boy. You know, I was teased once too, here in America, just because I was Japanese and had an accent. People here resented me for reasons that weren't even my fault, like the attack on Pearl Harbor. Heh, but for me, I didn't have a way out. They didn't only tease me, hurt me physically and emotionally, they took away something of mine they could never give back." Eiri couldn't believe what he was hearing; he never knew this about his sensei, and now he felt empathy for him and was sorry that he yelled at him earlier.  
  
"Sensei… I'm so…"  
  
"I'm not finished talking! Do you know what they took away from me Eiri?" Yuki started to walk closer to him and Eiri started to slowly step back, it seemed like Yuki was just feeding from the fear in Eiri's eyes. "What's wrong Eiri, why won't you tell me? Why won't you speak to me? Well, I know what they took..." (AN: his sanity???) "They took what I'm about to take from you…" Yuki had a big evil grin on his face.   
  
"No, stop this! You're drunk! You don't know what you're saying." Eiri covered his ears, "Please stop…" Eiri found himself thinking of Tohma, how he had taken him to America, if he hadn't then he wouldn't be there right now, but if he was in Japan right now… Eiri didn't know- or want- to think about that right now. To Eiri's horror, Yuki had caought up to him and had a firm grip on his wrist. His mind exploded with many dreadful thoughts, and he felt so dizzy, but the next thing he knew, he was shouting.  
  
"Let go!" Eiri looked down at his sensei, 'Oh no, did I - " Yuki slowly got up to his feet. "Sensei..."  
  
"Please stop calling me that, Eiri-kun." Yuki started walking towards Eiri again, trapping the boy against the wall. Eiri was shaking so hard, he didn't know what to do and he was so scared. "It's ok, you've always been such a good, polite boy." Yuki stooped down and sniffed the (AN: omg...) bulge in Eiri's pants and slowly made his way up.  
  
"S-stop it." Eiri spit out, very scared.  
  
"Stop?" asked Yuki a little taken aback. "Why?" Yuki got serious, but tautingly, he said, "Haven't you been looking at me all this time?"  
  
"That was - I -" The boy managed to speak again. Yuki leaned in close to Eiri's face.  
  
"This is what you wanted..." Yuki stopped at the sudden sound of the door opening.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing?" said one of the big, ugly guys that came in. Eiri couldn't help but notice how dirty and terrifying they looked, and he didn't understand them very well because they were speaking in English. Yuki took a step back from Eiri and smiled.  
  
"Come on," said the other fat, ugly guy, seeming to talk to both Yuki and Eiri. Yuki just kept on smiling and took a deep breath.  
  
"I'm going to miss this." Yuki watched as the two guys seemed to taunt Eiri.  
  
"Be a good boy..." One of them had laughed. "Move Yuki" The other one pulled out some money from his pocket.  
  
"C'mon, I'm giving ya ten bucks!"  
  
"Heh." Yuki stepped back again. "After you." Eiri was so scared, he couldn't move at all except for his excessive shaking.  
  
'How can sensei... How can he do this? Why? Why me?' "Sensei" Eiri looked at Yuki, giving a look that Eiri hoped to God would make Yuki stop this. There was hurt in his eyes, fear in his eyes, shock in his eyes. However, Yuki had no sympathy.  
  
"Hmph." Yuki turned around and walked away. Eiri was shaking harder and forgot to breathe. One of the American guys sharply held him by the shoulder and press him tightly against the wall.  
  
'Why?' Eiri thought, right before his head hit the wall. This is when he blacked out and was in the dark, but he couldn't escape the pain.  
  
*Flashback End*  
  
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AN: Hmm, do you like it? Please review and I will write the next chapter. Hehe, sucks to have to be left with that, eh? Bwahahaha! I'm so sorry if they seem out of character! But I hope you'll live with it, this is my first Gravi fic, please review nicely! Thanx! 


	2. It's all my fault

"That Isn't Why"  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or any of it's characters. Oh, and I don't own another one of the scenes from the series that I might use in this fic. I only own my writing, and again, hope this turns out to have some sort of plot, because I want to keep writing it. ^_^ Tell me how you feel about the Tohma and Yuki pairing, or perhaps if you think it isn't too unrealistic for a person to come back from the dead... haha....  
  
Thanx so much for the reviews! I really love them a lot!  
  
Chibi Shinigami X- You're so right! Lol!  
  
AISH a.k.a. Kitty in the Box- Ooo, Thank you! Yes! It's very good to know the disturbing parts are right! Yay! ^_^  
  
KittyKitty- Wow, I love Eiri drama too! And about the save the day part, well, uh, erm, I don't know about that... Ah, yes, but Tohma shows up!  
  
Chapter 1: It's all my fault  
  
"S-sensei..." Eiri couldn't believe what happened, but he didn't have to look twice to notice the state his body was in. He was a mess, but he saw that he was given a towell by Yuki.  
  
Before that time, Yuki had finished petting Eiri and occupied himself with thoughts. Seeing that Eiri was out of his trance, he pointed to the bathroom, even though Eiri knew perfectly well where it was. The boy went with his head bent down and the towell around his waist.  
  
Yuki let Eiri take his time, besides, he didn't want to see Eiri in that mess, it was disgusting. Eiri just wanted every thing to be over, he had been through hell and didn't want to do it again. He slowly got out of the shower and put on his clothes.  
  
'Why did this happen to me? How could Yuki do such a thing?' Eiri started sniffling and finally started to let out some of his frustration by letting out a groan, then he found his anger, sadness, regret, shame, and other feeling just build up and he fell to his knees crying as loud as he could. You'd think a neighbor would come up and see what was wrong, but noone came.  
  
Yuki heard the boy's cries in the other room while he was silently waiting. "Hmph," Yuki let slip from his mouth. 'I hope he doesn't think it's over yet.' Yuki remembered the promise he gave Eiri earlier...  
  
*Short Flashback*  
  
"I know what they took... It's what I'm going to take from you..."  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
Even though it's not exactly keeping his promise, he was still going to take part in the deed. One might ask why Yuki would do something like this.  
  
'I will tell him someday... but right now, I think I should just wait until it's done.' Yuki narrowed his eyes when he saw Eiri come out of the bathroom.  
  
*Tohma's Apartment*  
  
"I was hoping you and Eiri-kun would like to watch a movie with me today?" Tohma smiled as he asked Mika, his fiance.  
  
"I would love to, Eiri Should be home any minute, he told me he went to his sensei's house."  
  
"Why?" Tohma looked a little concerned.  
  
"He just told me he had a question he wanted to ask."   
  
"Ah." Tohma was a little disappointed, he really wanted to see Eiri-kun right now. He didn't want Mika to notice this so he smiled. "Alright. I guess we can wait. What movie would you like to see Mika-san?" Mika smiled brightly.  
  
"It's so good to not hear you talk so much about your band." Mika's face was beaming like a little child's. Tohma's face was sad for a brief moment. "Tohma, are you OK?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Well, Mika, please be honest with me..." Mika nodded her head.  
  
"When I was in the band, have I been neglecting you..." Tohma paused for a moment. "... and Eiri-kun?" Mika was surprised, why would he think that, of course not.... Well, she knew he wasn't neglecting Eiri-kun, most definately. She saw that Tohma seemed to always find time to talk to Eiri. Mika never really thought of it, but it didn't really matter because she loved and cared very much for her little brother. It was good he had such a nice friend like Tohma.  
  
"Of course not, Tohma. Please don't worry about it, I hate it when you're stressed out." It seemed to Tohma that Mika was the one worried. He stood up and smiled.  
  
"I guess I will have to trust you. I'll try not to get stressed. Well, enough about that, when did you say Eiri-kun would be - " Tohma stopped because the phone rang. He walked over to the phone and picked it up.  
  
"Moshi moshi"  
  
"Ah, Tohma!" Tohma knew that voice, he was relieved to hear Eiri-kun's voice.  
  
"Oh, hello Eiri-kun. I have a question for you."  
  
"Really? What is it?"  
  
"Mika-san and I were wondering if you would like to see a movie tonight with us...?"  
  
"Wow, a movie! I want to see something with romance - OH, I'm so sorry, Tohma, but I'm going to stay a bit longer with sensei..." Tohma looked very disappointed. "He's going to help me with the ending of my story. It might take a while..."  
  
"How long do you think?" Tohma hated for Eiri to stay out of his sight for too long.  
  
"I don't know really... I guess I'll have to call you when we're done, ok?" Tohma sighed.  
  
"Alright, Eiri, please be careful. Try to call back before it gets dark."  
  
"I'll try." Eiri giggled. "Don't forget to tell Mika I won't be home till later, ok?"  
  
"I won't." He looked over at Mika.  
  
"Thanks Tohma! Bye."  
  
"Goodbye." Eiri hung up, but Tohma was just standing there staring at the phone.  
  
"Who was it?" Mika started to worry about Tohma again.  
  
"It was Eiri-kun. He's going to stay later, he doesn't know how long, but he'll call us when he's done. Eiri did say that he would like to see a romantic movie, how does that sound?"  
  
"Sounds good," replied Mika. "I hope Eiri comes back soon, lately things have been too good..." Tohma put his arm around Mika's shoulder.  
  
"I'm worried too, I hope I made the right decision..."  
  
*In Yuki's Apartment*  
  
Eiri tried to hide his face from Yuki. He was so ashamed of what happened, and he felt so sick. It was when Yuki started walking toward him again that he started trembling and became very afraid.   
  
"What's wrong, Eiri-kun? It's me, Yuki, you're sensei. You don't have to be afraid of me." Yuki reached out his hand to touch his shoulder. Eiri curled up into a little ball, tears running down his face.  
  
'Sensei... it was you! Don't be afraid of you!?' Eiri pulled much of his courage together to look up at his sensei. He was smiling, just as he used to. It was a face that Eiri could trust. That face calmed down Eiri a little bit. He actually stood up in front of Yuki! "Sensei... Why - I - How - " Eiri didn't know what to say.  
  
"Please, Eiri, just have a seat." Yuki pointed to the couch, pursuading Eiri to sit. Eiri did just what Yuki asked him. "There now, do you feel better." Eiri gulped.  
  
'What is he doing?' "I... guess..."  
  
"Good, now tell me, do you hate me?" Yuki looked a little sad.  
  
"No... I just - " Yuki sighed sharply.  
  
"Good, very good. Now, please tell me, are you not attracted to me?" Eiri opened his mouth for a brief moment, but quickly shut it and looked opposite of Yuki. "Won't tell me?" Yuki looked surprised. "Very well then, I guess you would like to know what is happening..." Eiri looked up and nodded his head.  
  
"Yes, why sensei? Why did this happen?" Eiri started to cry once more.  
  
With Yuki's one last smile that told Eiri he was his "old self", he said, "I'm sorry, but I just can't do that right now..." Yuki put back on his evil smile. "Besides, it's not over yet..." Eiri's mind had stopped everything. He was so scared, but this time adrenaline was rushing through his veins. It was as if Yuki's hand was trying to grab Eiri's wrist in slow motion. Eiri quickly looked everywhere, until something shiny had caught his eye. It was hanging out of a coat pocket, a cold, black handgun. Eiri quickly tried to dive for the gun, just reaching it.  
  
"Dammit!" Yuki yelled just as Eiri had gotten right out of his grip. Eiri saw Yuki's mouth move, but couldn't hear a thing. He grabbed a hold of the gun and pointed it directly at Yuki. It took a while for Yuki to notice the gun pointed at him, but he noticed soon enough.  
  
"Come on now, Eiri. You know you don't want to do this." Eiri's head was swirling with many thoughts now, it made him so dizzy, but he felt a deep anger and hurt in his heart. It was clear to him now, sensei didn't care about him. Eiri held the gun in his hand firmly and looked down at the trigger, then looked up at Yuki, smiling evilly. This really shocked Yuki.  
  
"Eiri..."  
  
"Don't speak, you don't care for me... I hate you..." Eiri, still after all this, knew that wasn't true, he loved his sensei, his heart still held on to that old image of Yuki. None-the-less he still held to the gun stronger. It was as if Eiri was a whole different person. To Eiri, he was watching himself- he wasn't that mean, careless person in that room. "Tell me why you did this." Yuki could only smirk and look down.  
  
"I can't tell you, not now, I'm not done yet." Yuki advanced toward Eiri once more, determined to finish the job. Eiri started to pull the trigger but his heart wouldn't allow him to. The closer Yuki got, the more his mind seemed to tear apart. Eiri told himself to shoot, but he just couldn't. "Eiri-kun, I must say I can't tell you why until I finish what I started..." Another step closer, Eiri was trembling, he didn't know what to do. "Yes, the whole thing was to make you feel like scum, the lowest lifeform ever to live on earth..." One more step. "Eiri, please listen now, I have to finish this, my life will be a complete waste if I don't." Another step, but Eiri paused for a second.  
  
*Tohma's Apartment*  
  
"Why has Eiri not called yet!" Tohma was quickly pacing around the room, intensely worried. Mika was sitting in a chair near Tohma, holding her head. She was sick because she worried about Eiri and thought of awful things that could've happened to him. "I can't take this, Mika I'm going to look for Eiri-kun! He's been gone for five hours!!" (AN: Whoa...)   
  
"Tohma, please find him! I... don't feel well..." Mika tried not throw up. Out of nowhere the phone began to ring again. Tohma and Mika had high hopes of it being Eiri, so Tohma rushed over to the phone.  
  
"Hello! Eiri!" Tohma yelled, hoping to god he was right.  
  
"No, I'm sorry, I'm not Eiri. I live about two door's down from Yuki's apartment. I have been hearing terrible things in that room for hours, it really frightens me. I love that boy, Eiri, I really wish he hadn't gone in there, and I haven't seen him leave." Tohma gasped and listened intensely to the lady. "I got really scared when I heard very loud crying, about ten minutes ago, I tried to find your number so I could call you about Eiri. He may still be in there, I'm too scared to go in to see. Please hurry and get him!"  
  
"I will be over there as soon as I can!" Tohma hung up the phone sharply and headed out the door, "Mika, I'm going to find Eiri-kun!" He yelled to his fiance before he was out completely. Catching the bus or subway right now would not take him anywhere, so he ran the whole way. He was so worried about Eiri, he knew he had been in trouble. Why did he say that it was ok for him stay. It was all his fault, Tohma knew it, his job was to take care of Eiri and to be in charge of him. Tohma felt like he could kill Yuki. He ran even faster when he saw the apartment building just ahead. Looking up the stairs and running to Yuki's floor, he heard something that scared him almost to death...  
  
*Yuki's Apartment*  
  
Eiri had gone back from his moment of silence, and looked into Yuki's eyes. 'HIS life would be waste?' He thought of how Yuki didn't care about his life and that Yuki wanted him to feel like scum. Eiri seemed to snarl. "You don't care about my life, I will not care about yours." He fired the shot at Yuki.  
  
"No - " Yuki's collapsed onto the floor, his blood was seeping everywhere. Eiri's mind was swirling again at the sight of his sensei's blood.   
  
'Oh no! SENSEI! How could I? No! Sensei! Why did you do this? This - this- '  
  
*Back with Tohma*  
  
Tohma was horrified, he knew what that sharp sound was. It was a gun shot, he prayed that Eiri was ok. It was all his fault  
  
*Yuki's Apartment*  
  
Eiri didn't believe what he just did. His old self came back to him, it wasn't like him to kill someone. He was trembling again, he had no idea what he was going to do.  
  
*Tohma (again)*  
  
Finally Tohma had reached the door, he was so tired. When he threw open the door, he was surprised at what he found.  
  
*Inside Yuki's Apartment*  
  
Eiri didn't hear Tohma come in, Tohma looked the puddle of blood, and Yuki's lifeless body in it. Tohma also saw the gun in Eiri's hand. 'Oh my god!' thought Tohma. Eiri's mind was slipping back to the real world as he realized thatYuki was really dead, and it was he who killed him. 'This is all my fault. I'm such a horrible person!' Tohma took a couple of steps toward Eiri. "Eiri-kun..."  
  
Eiri looked down at his gun, and looked up at Tohma. 'No- it really- it really happened...' Eiri dropped his gun and bursted out crying in Tohma's arms. 'Why did this have to happen, such a horrible thing, and it ends like this!?'  
  
"You're not to blame..." Tohma started to cry. "I'm so sorry!" Tohma was so angry at himself, and so sad and sorry for Eiri. "It's all my fault."  
  
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AN: I want to cry now! Well, what did you think? Yes or no, do you like the whole Tohma and Yuki thing? I would like to thank my reviewers again. *gives them thumbs up* You guys really inspire me to write more, Thanks a whole bunch! Erm, I'm sorry that the Tohma and Mika part may have seemed boring... I hope you liked my second chapter anyway. I plan to write more! Bwahaha! Please review! 


	3. Eiri's Nightmare

"That Isn't Why"  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or any of its characters. My writing is the only that happens to be mine. And btw, I still need to know what you guys think of the Tohma/Eiri coupling!  
  
Oh yes! Thanx for the reviews, I love them so much!  
  
punky girl- Ah, thank you! ^___^ You are so nice! You are awesome; you gave me TWO reviews already! Thanx!  
  
emerald-wind- Yay! It bothered me so much; I wanted to know what happened in the series, why they did what they did exactly. Since I couldn't find out why, I had to write about it myself! I hope to keep writing!  
  
BrokenAngelYue- Yeah, I really, really want to make this a Tohma/Eiri fic kinda thing, but since it goes back to the time in America, I don't know if it'll disappoint people for them to be together since it seems highly unlikely that they did in the series. Umm, I hope I said that so it made sense.  
  
KittyKitty- Oo, it was supposed to be wild ^_^ it gets really fun! Hehe, read more and find out about Eiri. Bwahaha!  
  
Chapter 3: Eiri's Nightmare  
  
Evidently, the neighbors heard a gun shot come from Yuki's room and called the police. Tohma pulled himself together and tried to pick up Eiri.  
  
"Eiri-kun, let's go, before the police come." Eiri lifted himself up, but his legs couldn't stop trembling and he needed the support from Tohma. He couldn't say anything; he was still in shock from what he had done.  
  
'I killed him. I. I killed sensei.' Eiri tried to open his mouth to speak, but no sound came out.  
  
"It's OK, Eiri-kun. I'll take care of this." Tohma helped Eiri walk to the door and let the poor boy hang on to the doorknob. He picked up the gun and put it in his pocket. "We have to destroy this." Together, they slowly walked out of the apartment building to Tohma's apartment. One the way, Tohma chucked the gun into a thrash can filled with fire. He prayed that the police wouldn't find it, and continued helping Eiri to his apartment.  
  
*In Tohma's Apartment*  
  
Tohma opened the door to his home, carefully keeping a hold of Eiri. "Mika?" Tohma didn't hear an answer, so he called again. "Mika!?" He carried Eiri into the living room and found an unconscious Mika with the phone in her hand.  
  
"M-mikarin.?" Eiri's eyes were opened wide with horror. Tohma tried to embrace and hold up Eiri at the same time.  
  
"Everything's Alright. Mika is fine, she must've passed out when I left. Eiri, we were so worried!" Eiri stayed silent in Tohma's arms. ". Can you forgive me?" Eiri still didn't say anything. He stopped thinking, because he didn't want to remember anything. The boy was hurt so bad, and Tohma could see.  
  
"Tohma." Eiri shocked Tohma, how is he talking? That voice didn't sound like Eiri-kun's. "I'm very tired right now. Let go of me." Tohma jumped back very surprised at how Eiri recovered so fast. He didn't want to anger Eiri right now, so he stepped back and let go of Eiri's shoulder.  
  
"Eiri-kun, will you be alright?" Tohma was really concerned. Eiri just turned his back to Tohma and waved his hand carelessly.  
  
"I'll be fine." He closed the door to his room.  
  
When Eiri was in his bedroom, his mind started to think a bit differently. Th innocent boy act he used to pull was gone now. All that's left is a guy who is cold to everyone. That night, he went to bed with his sensei's seeping blood on mind.  
  
*Guess Where*  
  
Two children, a boy and a girl were wandering down a dirt road, not far from their village. ON either side was a dark forest, but they were daring children, they walked down the road as if they were defeating demons in their way. The boy, however, was much more quiet and heartless than the girl. As they walked on further, they didn't know they were being followed.  
  
They were captured and taken away to a laboratory and strapped to metal beds. Both of them were mutilated, with every piece of skin, they would put a thin piece of steel. Eiri was that these children were in extreme pain, blood was overflowing the bed tables as their bodes were being ripped apart and put back together. The outcome of this experiment would make the children into some kind of super human.  
  
It was as if a dark secret was upon the village when the children were let go, they didn't have many memories left anymore. The girl still had some emotions, but the boy was still as careless and heartless as ever. It was very cold outside, and for some reason, there was a funeral. Eiri didn't know why, or who's funeral it was, but the two children attended and were in the front row seats.  
  
The girl, almost forgot, but had a twin sister who wasn't as brave as her. Besides they boy, her twin was her best friend. When they had been let out of the lab, her twin was worthless to the village. That very day, the twin was waiting outside of the church where the funeral was being held. She seemed to favor the well in front, which was covered in ice.  
  
The twin was just worthless and forgotten, so the village didn't like her. She was just left outside freezing to death. After all, she was just a small child who missed her twin sister. All this drove her to commit suicide in the well, having to break the ice before she went in, of course. Right in front of the church, where her sister had been in.  
  
Ten minutes later, the church bell rang. Together, the boy and girl walked out side by side, until the girl ran ahead to see what the pale figure in the well was. She saw something that the people hoped she wouldn't remember, her twin. The girl was too sad to live anymore.  
  
Suddenly, Eiri could see through the boy's eyes, he was the boy, just standing, watching and not caring. The girl, out of shock and adrenaline jumped right in after her sister and died with her twin in her arms. Out of nowhere, the father of girls showed up after coming back from a war, he heard his girls were at the church. He looked happy, until he saw his daughters pale from death in the well, one holding the other, it frightened him to see them slowly sinking.  
  
Eiri, as the boy, just watched the father have tears fill his eyes. It is true that Eiri could've just stopped the other girl from drowning, but he just didn't care. He watched the father, who was a fun loving guy, run all the way to his house. Eiri just watched him go.  
  
When the father had reached his house, a lady came up said she was sorry about his daughter. But the father suddenly wasn't crying anymore. It was Eiri right then, he could see through the father's eyes this time. The father looked up to the lady, she was surprised at the way his eyes were.  
  
"I don't care. I don't believe it happened anyway. It's not real." He got up and started to walk away. Then Eiri heard one of the dead girls screeching in his head.  
  
"Father doesn't care about me!" It kept repeating, it was a soul he heard. The shrilling voice made him scared! Chills had stopped midway on his spine, he was so afraid. Thos words continually rang in his head. He knew. he was the villain.  
  
"Father doesn't care about me!"  
  
Suddenly, the screaming voice was different.  
  
"Eiri doesn't care that I died! He doesn't care that he killed me! He doesn't care!" The voice he heard was Yuki's.  
  
*End of Eiri's Nightmare*  
  
Eiri woke up, he was breathing very heavily, still scared inside from the deathly screaming. There was a pattern in his dream, he noticed.  
  
'I was the person who didn't care about the others who were in pain. I was just standing there watching it happen! I let them die! I killed Yuki!' Eiri stopped thinking and looked down; he knew he was never going to be the same again. He was just like the father in his dream, fun and loving into hate and not caring. The fault of that, he knew, was Yuki's.  
  
Searching around his room, Eiri found his book in his big pant pocket. The same one he had Yuki help him with earlier that night. He still wanted to keep most of it, but he was very unhappy with the ending. Staying up until the morning sun rose, he wrote another ending, with battle, blood and death. Tohma knocked on his door when he just finished the ending pome in his story. The last two lines had read:  
  
"I walked away, with a sense of pride. As your pale face, looks as if you died."  
  
"Eiri-kun." said Tohma, waiting for a reply. Eiri stood up with his book in his hand and walked over to his bed. He sat down with his head in one hand and his book in the other. "Are you OK?" asked Tohma. Eiri sat there silent for a while.  
  
'I don't deserve to be cared for.'  
  
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AN: Ahh, do you like it? Do you think it's sad, because Eiri's nightmare was really mine, when I woke up I was so scared I cried. Mostly because of my friend was the one who was screaming and I was the person who didn't care, I was just like, 'oh yeah, this'll fit in great with my story.' But, ugh, I don't usually cry that often and when I did that morning I felt like crap the rest of the day. I hoped you liked it! Please review, I really would like to know what you think! 


	4. Surprise

"That Isn't Why"  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or any of its characters. My writing is the only thing that is mine. Please don't sue. Hehe, I always seem to leave a bit of an AN in the disclaimer all the time anyway, so I guess I'll say that I'm sorry it took about a week to post and I hope you like this chapter!  
  
Here are the Thank you's ^_^:  
  
punky girl: *Laughs evilly* hehe, I know Eiri doesn't deserve what happens, but I'm *pretty sure* there's a point to it, lol. Please read on, hehe, you could be surprised… ^___^  
  
Dead Insomniac: Ah, yay! Thank you, I hope you like this next chapter, I'm sorry it took so long to post!   
  
Chapter 4: Surprise  
  
"Are you awake, Eiri-kun?" Tohma knocked again and slowly opened the door and peeked in. He was surprised of what he saw, an empty room. Eiri's bed was made neatly, on top of his pillow was the book Eiri had been writing and a note. Tohma rushed over and snatched the note, he gasped after he read it. The note simply said:  
  
"Tohma and Mika,  
  
Don't care about me, especially when I can't do that much for you."  
  
Tohma read it twice over. It made him extremely sad and worried.  
  
'Where is he now? Oh no, he's never going to forgive me…' Falling to his knees, one couldn't see through his hair, but Tohma was crying. He just felt like crap, that's what crying did to him.  
  
Mika had woken up in her bed. At first, all she could think about was how she got there, but soon it hit her. She gasped.  
  
"Where's Eiri!?" She jumped up out of bed and ran into Eiri's room. Hoping she would find Eiri, but knew she wouldn't, wasn't surprised and was very disappointed when she didn't see him. Who she saw was Tohma on the floor with a note in his hand, she knew he was crying.  
  
"He's gone… again." Mika watched as tears slid down his cheek. Tohma had read the note once more.  
  
"Again? Where is he? What happened?" Tohma stood up and wiped his tears.  
  
"Last night, he was still at Kitazawa Yuki's apartment… and Mika… They did something terrible, I know it…" Mika was very concerned and didn't want to be waiting to know what he was going to say.  
  
"Well…?" The impatience in her voice pushed Tohma to choke out the rest of his words.  
  
"Well, I don't what happened exactly…" He sniffled. "But whatever it was…" Tears immediately began to fill Tohma's eyes again. "Eiri killed him… It's my fault Mika! Will you forgive me? Eiri wouldn't…" He looked away from her confused expression.  
  
"Tohma…" Mika reached out her hand to him. She didn't know what she could say to comfort him, nothing. 'Tohma really thinks it was his fault for everything.' Her eyes burned with tears. 'There's nothing I can say to make him believe otherwise.' Mika didn't believe that everything was his fault, she didn't know what happened, but she knew it wasn't Tohma who did it.  
  
"Fine, Mika. I see that you cannot forgive me. We better hurry and find Eiri." As much as Mika wanted to see her little brother again, she stopped Tohma.  
  
"Wait! Tohma, I don't believe it was your fault!"  
  
"Please don't be foolish, Mika. I know that it is, and there is nothing that can change my mind." Sadly, Mika looked down and started thinking.  
  
'I knew he wouldn't believe me, this is serious stuff. I don't want him to feel any more pain than he has to.' She made up her mind and took a step toward her fiancé. "In that case, I forgive you, Tohma." He brushed off Mika's hand from his shoulder.  
  
"You're lying to me, but that doesn't matter now, I have to find Eiri." Mika was taken aback at the anger on Tohma's face as he ran out of the room.   
  
'That was not like him at all! I guess he really cares for Eiri.' Mika, still a little discombobulated from just being unconscious, got dressed and like Tohma, went out to look for Eiri.  
  
*With Eiri*  
  
'Don't care about me.'  
  
Eiri couldn't think of anything else but his dream. On the inside, he was still shaking from the screaming. It had scared him so much, but he didn't want to cry, not now.  
  
"Are you awake, Eiri-kun?"  
  
'Why won't he just go away?' Eiri was getting annoyed. Seeing Tohma's face would be just too much for him right now. Fetching a piece of paper and a pencil, he wrote a note:  
  
"Tohma and Mika,  
  
Don't care about me, especially when I can't do that much for you."  
  
He laid down his book and jumped out the window. It was amazing, from the window he fell two stories to a small balcony, and then he jumped again three stories to the sidewalk below him. There was only one person who witnessed this, and that guy's mouth was agape.  
  
'How did he land on his feet?' Just so happens, this guy was a famous news reporter, and he thought Eiri would make a good story. "Boy falls from high building- and survives! Yeah, this'll be good!" He ran up to the boy. "Son! Son, would you tell me your name? That was an amazing thing you just did there! Do you think you could do it again, and I can take a picture?" The reporter continued his questions, which annoyed Eiri so much.  
  
'Will he ever stop?' Eiri was suddenly very angry, he needed to go, this was stopping him though, he wouldn't stop talking.  
  
"Son, are you listening? I still need your name. Have you ever tried this stunt before? Son -" The reporter gasped and jumped back. His hands were trembling as he slowly dropped his pad of paper and pencil. "E-eyes, what happened…?"  
  
"I want you to stop bothering me!" Eiri made a fist and hit the reporter's gut really hard. Before anyone knew it, Eiri was already walking away and the reporter was holding his stomach and throwing up blood. Eiri knew what he did, and yes, he meant for it to happen. He looked at his fist, 'If this is how things are going to work out for me now, then so be it.' Behind him, he heard people talking to the reporter.  
  
"Oh no, Mister, are you OK? Hey, I know you! You're that famous reporter, Louis G.W.!"  
  
"Someone call the ambulance, Louis G.W. is hurt!" Eiri was a little confused; he still didn't know English too well. Although, he did know what it meant when he heard a guy who passed him say that he hated Louis G.W. The situation suddenly became more interesting to Eiri. Since he needed to get away from Tohma, he decided to run after the rushing ambulance with Louis G.W. in it.  
  
"Hey watch it!" Eiri had almost ran into a lady, but as he ran on the lady was surprised of Eiri's speed and swift movements. Every person he passed was amazed, and he himself was glad he had managed to keep up with the ambulance. As it finally reached its destination, Eiri decided to take main entrance and try to look for Louis just to get his kicks out of terrorizing the guy, and he thought that Tohma definitely would not check the hospital.   
  
The place was huge; the reporter could be anywhere, so Eiri took a look down a long hallway. He came to a door with a sign above it; they were long words so he didn't understand. Still looking for Louis he just pushed the door open and walked in.  
  
"Whoa, Kid, you can't go in there" The nurse who yelled stood up from her chair, but was temporarily blocked of an exit from her desk because of two lunch carts. Eiri acted as if he didn't hear her and looked around the shorter hallway. He immediately this board-like thing on the wall with names and numbers…  
  
"Hey kid, what did I tell you!?" The nurse was advancing toward Eiri and he gasped. Not because of the nurse, but because of what he was on the sign…  
  
"Kitazawa Yuki… room 309," Eiri muttered to himself.  
  
"Aha, I have you now! What do you think you are doing? You can't just roam around the hospi -" Eiri ripped out of the nurses grip and ran down the hall, "hey, com back!" She stamped her foot; this nurse was used to getting her way.  
  
'Oh my God, is he really…?' he stopped in front of a door with big, black letters "309" above it. Eiri just threw the door open and gasped…  
  
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AN: Hehe, ummm, personally I didn't very much like this chappie because somehow it got kind of funny… in a way, lol. I'm sorry I have like this only chapter edited, and I hope it is right, but I'll try to get the other chapters edited too. Well, please review and tell me what you think! Thanx! 


	5. That Isn't Why: The Explanation

"That Isn't Why"  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or any of its characters. My writing is the only thing that is mine… well, I think it is…. Please don't sue. For the little AN… Omg, I'm so sorry it took me forever to update! I had a lot of "big tests" this week and I had to study a lot -_-, ah well.  
  
Here are the Thank you's ^_^:  
  
Dead Insomniac: Hehe, kewl! I'm glad you like my fic! Oh, I'm soo sorry for leaving the story off with a cliffhanger for so long! Whoa, that's awesome, I deserve a cookie! Wow! Thanx!  
  
punky girl: ^___________^ You liked it?? Yay! Thank You!  
  
lmao : Lol, I had to put your name as that… Oooo, you liked it! Ugh, I know, I try to make the fic seem like it's from the series! . Ah well, ummm, I update now! Yay!  
  
brokenAngelYue: Bwahahahahaha! Lol, hehe, look I'm writing! ^__^   
  
Sarfox The Tod: Yay! Thanx, I'm glad you liked it. Soo sorry I didn't update sooner! Hehe, I think I really like cliffhangers….  
  
MRiddle433: Thank you Morrisa, Thank you Ayame! Lol! Kewl, now I get pocky! Woohoo! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
And finally…  
  
Chapter 5: "That Isn't Why": The Explanation  
  
Eiri saw him. "Sensei…" It was… so many things seeing Yuki helpless with a bandage around his chest. The boy was horrified, but he was smiling, he felt sorry and guilty, but was disappointed Yuki didn't die. He couldn't decide what to do, but he found himself slowly stepping towards his sensei.  
  
"YOU." The nurse took a hard grip on Eiri's wrist. "I told you not to come in here! I'm going to call security!" Eiri wouldn't move.  
  
"Wench…" He reached out for the nearest hard thing he could find.  
  
"What did you cal- Ah!" Eiri whacked the nurse on her head with a bedpan and she fell face-first on the ground.  
  
'Stupid bitch.' He looked at her nametag. 'You need to die… Carlie.' Suddenly he heard a small grunt.  
  
"Eiri-kun," said a small hoarse voice. Eiri turned around and saw Yuki, his eyes were hardly opened, and the rise and fall of his chest was pitiful. The boy was standing at the foot of the bed, eyes narrowed, glaring down at his old sensei. "I see…" His chest was rising up and down unevenly, "It worked." The man's half-closed eyes looked at the nurse on the ground.  
  
'What?' Eiri walked over to Yuki's bedside. "What do you mean, 'it worked'?" His voice was stern, and his eyes were fixated on the bandage around Yuki's chest, particularly the red spot that was near Yuki's right shoulder. It took a while for Yuki, who had a real hard time breathing, to respond.  
  
"Eiri… Forget what I said… that night…" Eiri had gotten angry. He stood up with his hair covering his eyes.  
  
"Nothing can make me forget what you said!" Both of his fists were clenched. "Bad enough, what you did, but what you said…"  
  
"Eiri!" said the hoarse voice that tried to yell. The heart-rate machine next to him was beeping faster. (AN: I don't know what it is called.)  
  
"You said I was supposed to feel like scum…" The boy looked away sadly, but he was still very angry. "I know why you did those things." He looked into Yuki's eyes. "If you hated me so much, why didn't you just kill me?" Yuki's half-closed eyes had pathetically tried to open with shock. He had tried to sit up but his body wouldn't let him.  
  
"That isn't why!" As if his breathing wasn't pitiful enough, but his chest was rising really high and the beeping got even faster. Yuki had to pause what he was saying to try to breath. "Eiri… I know it was horrible, I know because I went through it too. I was angry at him, after a long time… I finally realized…" Yuki's eyes seemed hazed and distant. Eiri was just silent, eyes still covered by his hair. "He cared for me… What he had done… it was to make me stronger." Tears had spilled out of Yuki's half-closed eyes.  
  
'Stronger…?' Eiri jumped back when he felt a hand on his. Not like someone was trying to grab him, like it had been for so long. It was like someone who cared for him touched his hand, just for the pleasure of feeling that he was there.  
  
'Sensei…' Eiri chocked back his tears and let his feelings spill out. The boy leaned over and kissed Yuki, "I love you too… sensei…" He took his sensei's hands and held them as long as he could, until finally, he heard a long "beep". Everything was silent for a while, Eiri just kept holding Yuki's hands and didn't notice as the nurse groaned and tried to get up. At least two seconds later, Eiri put one hand on Yuki's cold, pale face. '…No, sensei…' He got up and zoomed out of the room, making sure he jumped on the nurse's back on the way out.  
  
"You brat!" The nurse named Carlie got so mad, she almost didn't notice the "beep" noise, but soon enough she did. "Oh no! I knew he'd kill somebody! Damn!" She ran to an emergency phone to get some help, got an emergency aid box from underneath the bed. Out of the box she got an instrument that looked like paddles (AN: I have no idea what it is called, don't laugh, it's a bad situation ;_;), a person would try to get a heart beat by shocking them with it. "Please work!" Carlie walked over to Yuki and put the paddles on his chest, the shock made the lifeless body jump.  
  
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AN: Uh, I'm sorry I left you off with such a weird ending to a chapter! And sorry it was so short too! Hehe, the nurse's name is actually my name, I had to do it, and I just think I'm so dumb sometimes. Ok, I'm going to hope that it is edited good enough, because I don't want you to wait any longer, sooo sorry it took so long to update! Hoped you liked this chapter, please review! Thank you! 


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